I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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