what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
