next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
