Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
How's work?
Spinning.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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