I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude i'm inner monologue high
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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