I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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