her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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