So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
