Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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