Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
