so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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