she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
