I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
