His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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