I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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