Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
