My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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