I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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