Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
