Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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