I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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