I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
