So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
