it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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