i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
