So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
