Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
