the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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