i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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