Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
