you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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