Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
