Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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