Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
