This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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