Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
