And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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