my mouth tastes like poor choices
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I smell stomach acid.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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