yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
