all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize