just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No I am not eating basil off your cock
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
