the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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