The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
