I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize