Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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