Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize