hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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