Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
