did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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