he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
