why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
