The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
