i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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