All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So vagazzling was a success
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
