8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize