we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
