I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
