watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
