He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
