she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
