New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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