i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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