Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
