I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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