Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
