I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
