rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
