We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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